By Michelle Martin | Catholic
News Service
CHICAGO —
The brides gathered at the back of Immaculate Conception Church in Chicago
complimented one another, adjusted their veils and kept their eyes on the small
children who darted around their skirts before lining up for the entrance
procession.
The grooms,
fidgeting in a room next to the sacristy, cracked nervous jokes and waited for
the signal to take their places in front of the congregation.
All told,
nine couples — all of whom have been civilly married for years — participated
in a recent “community wedding” at which their marriages were convalidated by
the church.
Civil
ceremonies confer the legal benefits of marriage, but by receiving the sacrament
of matrimony that day at Immaculate Conception, the couples were brought into
full communion with the church, allowing them to receive the Eucharist.
“I haven’t
had Communion since I was 15,” said Melissa Ortiz, 29, who had been together
with her husband, Antonio, since they were in high school. The couple, who now
has five children, was married civilly for 11 years. “My daughter did her first
Communion and I was so embarrassed I couldn’t go up with her.”
Such
convalidation ceremonies take place in dioceses all over the country, many in
the immigrant community.
In the
Diocese of Raleigh, North Carolina, William Cardona-Arias, coordinator for
Hispanic Lay Leadership and Family Life, told Catholic News Service that 150
couples who wanted their marriage convalidated participated in 12 marriage
preparation workshops he and his wife, Andrea Blanco, conducted in Spanish from
January to December last year.
In the
Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, marriage preparation classes also draw many
couples who have been civilly married and are seeking to be married in the
church. According to the diocese’s Spanish Apostolate, the majority of those
couples come from countries where civil wedding ceremonies are more common than
church ceremonies.
Often,
church ceremonies in their native countries cost too much or couples do not
feel it is necessary to have a church ceremony, said Father Jose Eugenio Hoyos,
director of the apostolate.
When these
couples are invited to receive the sacrament of matrimony, Father Hoyos said,
many tell him they would be happy to just have a blessing. But he explains to
them it is more than a blessing, that the convalidation ceremony makes them
full members of the church. Some also wrongly think such a ceremony “will be
very expensive,” the priest added.
“It is not
just a bandage,” he said of the convalidation ceremony, which could include 10
to 20 couples. “We make them feel they are welcome in the sacraments and the
church.” The ceremony also is family-oriented, he added. The ceremony is “so
beautiful,” Father Hoyos said, and also is “a good example of love” for any
children in attendance.
Like Father
Hoyos, Father Gerry Creedon, pastor at Holy Family Church in Dale City,
Virginia, said the reasons are varied for couples only being married civilly.
Sometimes its economic, he added, and “sometimes people have questions about
their commitment and want to make sure (marriage) is forever.”
In some
parts of the world, there are fewer church weddings because of a lack of
clergy, like in the Dominican Republic, where Father Creedon was the first
priest to serve in the Arlington Diocese’s mission there. He added that some
couples want their marriage convalidated because they want to be godparents.
Holy Family
usually has six to eight couples “celebrate their marriage together,” he said.
The ceremony integrates them into the church community, too, besides bringing
them into full communion with the church.
In Chicago,
Father Manuel Dorantes, pastor at Immaculate Conception, raised the idea of a
community wedding because he was aware that a number of couples in his parish
had civil marriages but had not been married in the church.
The couples
took the wedding ceremony seriously — with wedding dresses and flowers and a
party and their families around them.
“I think
the celebration is tied so strongly into the idea of the sacrament in this
culture, as it is in every culture, I think,” Father Dorantes said.
Each couple
contributed — and other people donated — to help cover the cost of a
photographer and videographer and a reception.
The idea
went over so well that the parish had to schedule two wedding Masses.
“This is
something we always wanted to do,” said Leticia Navarro, who was civilly
married to Aurelio Hernandez 23 years ago. “But we never decided when. It’s
maybe excuses. His family is in Mexico, and my family is here with me. His
family could never all come here, and my family was never all together in
Mexico. But when this came up, we decided to do it.”
Navarro and
her husband have three children, who were “all excited for us,” she said.
During the
nuptial Mass, each couple came forward to pronounce their vows and exchange
their rings. The rite included several Mexican traditions, such as the
customary gifts given by the couples “madrinos” and “padrinos” –-a type of
sponsor who filled the pews in the front section of the church.
Having gone
through marriage preparation together, the couples became friends and have been
a source of support to one another, they said.
“Now we are
friends,” said Rogelio Cervantes before the wedding. “After this, we will be
brothers.”
After the
Mass, the couples took photos in front of the altar and regrouped with their
families.
Eloisa and
Luis Orozco, together 18 years, married civilly 16 years and married in the
church that day, smiled broadly at their three children, Fernando, Alysie and
Aylin.
“I feel
great,” Eloisa Orozco said.
“I do feel
different,” Navarro said, after exchanging vows with Hernandez more than two
decades after her civil wedding and receiving the Eucharist for the first time
in 25 years. “It’s wonderful.”
